hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
