Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
