coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
