I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
