The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I think my moral compass just broke
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
