Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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