Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Found your dick twin last night
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
