We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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