he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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