my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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