Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
