So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
