Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Randomize
