The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
