I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
I just had sex on a roof
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
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