I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
