why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Randomize
