I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
