woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize