Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
