the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
