Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
