I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
