Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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