that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Randomize
