it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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