what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
