Pappa wants mamma naked
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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