how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
