i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
