we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
