They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
