i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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