I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
And then he peed in my hair
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