How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
