We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Randomize
