If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
