I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
