Found a phone last night. Hope "daddy" gets picture messages
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Drunk walkin through police station. America
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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