Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
