if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
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