I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
