Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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