Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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