they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Please don't give away my fajitas
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