his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Bang-toberfest begins!!
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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