hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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