Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I could fuck to npr.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
