this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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