the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
