flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
