piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
can you have the cops turn on the gps locator on my phone...i just woke up in a Hooters uniform and I have no idea where I am...
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I didn't notice because vodka
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Dick very happy bro
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Randomize
