She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
