Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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