Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize
