We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Randomize
