12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
