Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize