Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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