Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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