think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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