Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
me + whiskey = a bad person
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
and you fell through a lawn chair
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
